Whenever these days i look at my this blog, once which was heart and soul of me, i felt bad. Because i have not been true to it and i had been postponing the things. I am not writing the things about which i have not felt good. Finally, its time to break the silence and i would be writing about my first official GD and interview and about a dream crashing and an opportunity lost, but the world doesn’t always go by the way u wish. And by other’s comments its like might be something better is in store for me.

I would be writing about PwC summers test procedure. There were two persons Nilaya and Vikram. Both were highly professional and looking at them, my desire to work for organization as big as PwC became more intense.

There were two rounds, first GD and then interview. The GD topic was “Are ethics really important in present day competitve world?” The topic was general and people speak well, although here i should agree that the GD as a whole was not going too well or towards some unanimous opinion, but thats how the open discussion moves. I put forward my points, i stressed on the point that the definitions of ethics first has to be framed and ethics norms are not global. What may be ethical for one organization might be bribe for other. My point was ethics are no doubt important but first organization should be having some codes or norms, and people should be moving according to that. Thereafter someone quoted Reliance, how Dheerubhai took the licenses during the Rajiv Gandhi’s time. Here some of the GD players changed their stand and said that that was total ethical, and they contributed it to the hardwork of Dheerubhai and not his political connections and his bribes. Anyways, i was not fully satisfied with my GD, still after that i felt that i have raiseed some very good points and i might have an edge.

And then the results of GD came, and i was selected. So first step being cleared. Now the interview.

I was told that i would be the first to be interviewd. Ok, no problems …. but finally before me a girl went. The questions asked from her were totall HR, and nothing concrete sorta. I have always felt that in HR interview, if the guys are average smart then its really diffcult to select them as well as not to select them.

Finally my interview came. I entered with light green shirt and dark blue trousers with Blue Tie having light orange strips, with a pleasant smile at my face. I was confident enough.

From now onwards the interview process.

Nilaya Verma(e-gov man) is 1 from now onwards, Vikram(HR man) is 2 and myself would be M, and in bracket would be my comments.

2 : Have the seat .
M: Thank You sir.

1. why u opted for this institute?
M: Because of my interest in Computers, i came to this intitute.

1. There are other IIITs too.. rt ?
M: Yes sir, but at the time of admission, the MBA degree fascinates me and i prefer this.

1. So r u satisfied??
M: yes sir.

1. Tell me something about yourself.
M. I am Pawan Verma. I did my schooling from CPVN, ICSE board with 88% and 85% marks. After that i prepared for JEE. I cleared JEE, and other enginnering exams with good ranks. Owing to my interest in computers, i opt for IIITM Gwalior. I have been involved with so many extra activites and academic projects. I am presently member of Student Placement Team. My interest includes e-governance and Business Intelligence. I prefer to read fiction novels during my pastimes.
(Very misrebaly, i forgot to tell him that i had been the student coordinator of Infotsav. Also the guy was pretending to look in to my CV, but i realized that he was listening to me very sharply. Also he didn’t stop me at any place. Cooperating)

1. Pawan, (peeping into my CV) you are involved in so many projects, tell me some project that is nearest to your heart.
M: sir, it depends upon the context. I enjoyed my every project, as each has its different flavour.

1. Still there must be some, which you find more yourself more atatched??
M: (To be true, i was not sure which to name, still i kept my cool) Sir, i like my Project of working as SME on e-Security very much.

1. Y??
M: As this is something, that interest me very much and i have got chance to work in industry professional environment. Also i think i made some contacts which might flourish with time.
(The guy might not like the answer as supposing that these are some big words from a small mouth, but they were not).

1. Any other project?
M: I also am very attached with my B.Tech Prject (:D). It was individual project and i think that i put a lot of efforts in that.

1. U mentioned in your CV, that you have worked in APonline, rt ?? what u did ??
M:(Poor answer) I worked as software developer. It was team of 7 and i worked as developer. This project i did, during the 2nd year of my course. (If i would have said, i worked as system designer, i would have given a better impression)

1. DO u know anything about Open Source?
M: (Biggest mistake, i became too confident, i gave a smile, which i should say has that mockery feeling). Yes Sir, i think that i know much about the subject.

1. What is Open Source?
M: Open Source are the projects whose source are kept open so that other persons can be benefitted by it and utilize that, but the codes are not essentially free. If you make some changes then you may have the copyright of that and may sell it but on the condition that the source is to be open. ……………………(I speak a lot here. I spoke about GNU, history and other many things…… ) (But here is the another big mistake, i was telling the guy what i was knowing, and in the flow i forgot that its not some discussion, but an interview where the person has to check me. I consumed a good time here.)

1. Tell me the difference between open source and open technolgy?
M: Open Source are the projects where codes are open for all and not essentially free, but open technology are the technologies that can be implemented into your organization without changing your existing infrastructure and other things.

1. Given a choice between Open Source and Microsoft, which way you would go ?
M:(Worst answer that i can give) I am a fan of open source and i always believe that the security and other features that can be there in open source would in way be possible in MS. What MS has ?? Some 5000-10000 coders to work on their OS and other applications but Open source community is all over the internet, with geeks just looking into the things how to let MS down. (I again flow in emotions …. ( ….)

1. OK, thats your personal view, tell me as a govt. consultant, which way you would go?
M: (I think that I was rejected here) Sir, We saw the projects at various state governments to be implemented in both the platforms. We have in MP in Linux, while in Rajasthan in Windows. So at the implementation level, user interface matters most, which MS has better. But sir, if we look at the latest releases of Linux like Fedore 4 etc, they are very user friendly and any new person can work over that. And sir, when we would be havng transactions over the internet, security would be a crucial issue, that is no doubt better in Linux. (Ye saali, security beech mein pata nahi kaha se aa gayi ??? )

Nilaya took a rest for a while. Vikram has not talked to me yet. While to note that both the candidates who got selcted, were interviwed by Vikram only and even Nilaya was not in the room.

So Vikram first question…..

2. Pawan, you have area of interest in marketing ?? (He look at wrong CV and asked me ) So, what do you know about Marketing??
M: (I didn’t interrupted in between but to let him the complete sentence) Sorry sir, but i didn’t have marketing as my area of interest. (He got confused and might be he didn’t like the answer, even then he looked at the CV again and t
hen said …. “ohhh, sorry”).

1. So Pawan, tell me something about your family?
M: My father is a Bank Officer at Punjab National Bank. My mother is an housewife. I have a younger brother preparing for JEE at Kota.

1. Don’t u think that Kota has gone so much into the national visibilty chart for engineering exams.
M: Yes Sir, defintely.

1. Y is it so??
M: I would be giving the credit to Indians doing good into IT industry throughout the world. We see that almost every IITian gets a job and that too in some good IT company whether he is a civil or electrical. Also, we see the opportunies shrinking in public sector, so people find engineering as goood professional course. And since in the past, Kota has produced some national rank holders, so people are running towards it.

1. Is it really true that Kota is a good centre??
M: I have been there and i found that teachers are very hardworking, but its all the same at every other place too. At Kota, you may find an environment and if you are hard working yourself then you may succeed. (After that a lot of other blah blah has been there …. I was not sure, that whether he liked the answer or not.) …

2. What you do in your free time??
M: I read novels and i used to bike in the city.

2. So where all do you go ??
M: Its mainly restaurants, and hotels.

2. Name some ??
M: CCD, CP

2. So is there CCD in Gwalior ??? (Abe, i go to CCD, it means that its there ….)
M: yes sir.

1. Given a choice between IT job and e-Gov job, which you would prefer?
M: (Bad answer…i was feeling more and more open and confident as the interview was proceeding and forgetting that the guy is there to test me) Sir, i am very comfortable in the technology but i would be like to work in e-gov. I didn’t like coding and thus have opted for MBA as i think that i have good communication skills and i can convince people of the things. I really wish to work for e-gov. I think that there is a lot of opportunties in this field and especially in india (I didn’t gave the person a single reason why??? i didn’t find the reason that there is lot of money good and i find it too ideal to talk of corruption etc)

1: OK, Pawan. Thank You…..
M: Thank you, sir (With a pleasant smile….) Nice to meet you both.

Interview over.

I was not selected

I was very happy after the interview,its only later that i realized that i fucked up the whole thing. I was jubilious because i speak a lot and there are usual tendency, that you feel satisfied if you can speak your words out. I told the guy what i know. But guy was finding, how pawan can be helpful to him as a consultant and there comes the differnece. I was not fitting into the perception of him.

When we meet the guy afterwards, he said, he was impressed, but the constraint is that he has to select only one guy. When i ask him for feedback for my future intervies, he answered a beautiful thing, “Catch the person in front of you, and try to figure out that what he wants from you.”

And thats when i realized that where i went wrong? If one see my answers without brackets they are not as bad, but they were not in the context in which he was asking or testing me. I failed to catch the guy and then to get fit into the image, he was looking.

Anyways, at that time, it was like a dream shattered. I prepared for that. But alas ….. now i am more optimistic and hoping that i would land up with good summers. Anyways, that i would be getting, by my efforts.

At the end, there is another beautiful line, that becomes my favorite after November7, 2005 and thats ….. “There are no mistakes in life. There are only lessons.”