A child was born way back in 1983 in a aphotic corner of a big house in completely conservative setup. His mother was not allowed to be out of the house for the fear of ghostly spirits. Irrespective of doctors and nurses, the old daai was preferred to carry out the painful task. The child was born, sweets were distributed all around, huge celebrations because of the child being male. It seemed that child has won the first contest of his life by being male (don’t know though, how ?).

Except the child’s dad, everyone of the family were in business. The child grew up with the tales of his family saga. His great grandparent was zamindar of a small town and whole town used to bow down when he used to take a ride in his horse-cart. His grandfather had passed the much coveted MBBS exams (which were perhaps most ambitious one after IAS) during his time, but owing to family pressure, he succumbed down and came into family’s business and i.e. of jewelery. He fought the town’s municipal election and won the chairman post but again because of family pressure and being the only earning son, he left the seat in between and turned to business completely. He had a big family to feed, eight children, one retarded younger brother. They flourished. It’s said that during that time, their house was as big as the small fort on the outskirts of town and people from across the town used to come with their architects.

But time changed. The prosperous family disintegrated owing to various reasons, which include a great ‘pomp and show’ life style carried out by family members. Every brother got his business. Things became cliched but carried out. Except the child’s dad, none of the children of the grandparent were interested into studies. So child’s father got the best education in the town available because they fear that child’s dad might get kidnapped or may get the same habits as many of the town’s boys if he go to city.

Child’s father preferred to join a government service at small village rather than being into family business. He by then understood the importance of education and gave his children the best possible education. The child was sharp, but still stubborn. Mother took charge of his stubbornness and beat him hardly when after exam he reported that he had done a two marks questions wrong, while he was knowing the answer rightly, just because he was not feeling to write and was anxious to come out. After that child was under immense pressure to perform not because of his interest but for the fear of his mother’s stick. He always stood in top three of his class throughout the school days.

When child grew a bit elder and become more matured, the fear of stick went away and replaced by a feeling of responsibility and expectation. The expectation of his parents, teachers and all those whom he know. Everyone coming to house, praised child’s meticulous brain and child was happy. He was the cynosure of his class and students love him so that he could help them in exam. No-one teased him just because he was good at studies even when he didn’t smoke and even when he used to bring a tiffin box unlike all other smart guys. Again he had to maintain his grades and personality so that he could carry the same reputation in his batch otherwise he would be teased. He worked harder in his new school where the guys were comparatively smarter unlike his previous village school. He again topped the exams.

Then came other aspects of life to the child, to quote one extra curricular activities. The child’s dad was of the opinion that a good student must be good orator and must be participating in most of the debate competition. But the child was more fascinated by a big playground in front of his house. The best batsman there was the son of a milkman who lived in last house of the narrow street. But with time, all the friends moved away. They all were made to study. Child tried to be good at extra activities. He took part in debate competition, wrote a good speech with help from each and everyone, he could ask for. He memorized the speech religiously but day before, he put some bombastic words to make the things impressive, and when it came to final stage, the child got nervous. He suddenly forgot the first line written. He tried to hold his shivering legs, his aching voice but suddenly busted into tears. Perhaps the child’s only and ever display of helplessness in the public. Child felt bad,well wishers felt worse. He was asked to take this as a challenge and not to loose heart. English teacher came to rescue and especially held an internal debate competition for the child himself. Child was being given a ready-made speech with easier words and more rhythmic lines. It became his schedule to revise the whole speech once in a day in-front of his mom and then English teacher for continuously 10 days. Child went to stage, without any stakes of his own but the hopes and reputation of his English teacher. He stood first and English teacher was happier.

The school days passed, and now he was expected to be serious with his future. But he was clueless. He had heard a lot about some institutes known as IITs, where only finest students got admitted. His family wanted him to be an IITian. He went to coaching and found guys, who were 2-3-4 years droppers. Thousands of students with diverse family background but only one aspiration, ‘Mission IIT’. In first coaching test, child managed to get 6/20 and for the first time, thought that he got failed. But coaching teacher generously put the passing marks at 5. He was embarrassed but there was not any reverse turning. Everyone in the relatives and well-wishers was looking at the child and his parents hopes were on him. He worked hard and got under 800 rank in screening. If sky is the limit then that was sky. He was overjoyed. In Mains paper, he managed good, except forgetting one formula and that cost him a seat in IIT.  How his life was dependent on one formula, he understood only later. He was sad, but still fine, for IIITM is more than that what anyone in whole family had ever been to.

He came to institute. A bigger stage. Students from across the nation were his batch mates. He tried to study hard and play harder. For the first time, he thought that he was independent. But alas ! He had to mug all those heavy books which his mind refused to understand. He couldn’t reason out the rationality of the things. He began to question everything. He put on a fighting spirit and try to mend the things. He put on lot of efforts in whatever the things, he got his hands on, right from website designing to projects running in the institute. He got acclamation and then was looked forward for every other thing in the institute. He was happy because he was important, known by all. But soon things started burdening him. Why was he doing all these things ? While others were preparing for their self, he was toiling big time for institute and that too seemingly against the wishes of everyone. Again there was a void. He lost all interest, started working towards himself.

He met a no. of fellows, became more matured and more  confused.He appeared for CAT, ruined the exam, again after carrying hundreds of expectations over his shoulders. Somehow, just managed a border percentile and got couple of IIM calls. He read a lot. Tried to identify, what he wished to do ? MBA from IIM came a reply, but that was not the aim, it was just a mean !

In all these years, he had learned one thing and that is since beginning he is carrying others. He has been living for others, if not directly then indirectly. Humans are characterized as social animals, but if they are so social that they don’t have any independent life. There is boredom, there is suffocation and there is a looser feeling many times. Is that a life ? Can’t there be every day where a person give himself a smile, that yeah i lived a day of my life ? Why is to so that we happen to pass most of the times of our lives trying to be or fascinating to be someone that we are not ? But again the big question remains … what does he want ? He doesn’t know  and he mean it, but he seriously wished to find that. Finding that aim is not easy. He has to make himself dirty, have to put a lot of hit and trials and will then see what excites him ? Where he felt like that he is the best ?

There is no end to things, no end to competition, this the child has understood and even sky is not the limit. There is another world, galaxy existing beyond sky. If there is no end then why is it all ? Why people indulge in this rat-cat-dog race ? Answers are there bit none convinced me so far. Where is the end ?

Photo Credit: Waldo#4